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Having a baby is…

27 May
babybump1
Overwhelming!
I’m the kind of person that likes to be prepared. I make lists, do research, and spend way too much time investigating almost everything in my life. Now imagine this in regards to a baby! It’s insanity!!! INSANITY.
I have weird questions like… How do I know how many of what to buy? How many newborn onesies? How many cloth diapers? How many socks? How many hats? What about larger sizes? When do babies grow out of newborn sizes? What about carseats? Why can’t there be a website called “this is the safest carseat for your baby” featuring only 1 carseat, which is in fact the safest? The same goes for baby stroller, carrier, crib, mattress, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank goodness for the web… It’s not as easy as one would imagine to find really informative advice for mamma’s to be so I thought I’d share a few I really like.
Lucies List  I swear I’ve made lists of all the recommendations from this site. Its straightforward and practical advice is really helpful. They list items I didn’t even know existed (onesies with mittens??!?!? genius!) and others I didn’t know I’d need. When you subscribe to this site they’ll send you a cheat sheet with all of their must have items complete with prices, how long you use it for, and why it’s worth buying.  Definitely go to this site!
Pregnant Chicken A no nonsense blog/website for moms and mamas-to-be. I especially like their “is it safe?”  column.
Ask the Mamas This is an awesome instagram! They post user based questions from mothers and mothers to be and users comment to answer them. I actually found out about Lucies List from this instagram. Pretty awesome stuff.
Off Beat Families This is a major time sucker. You can go to their “about” section to find out more… Basically the authors usually have dyed hair and tattoos, and there are a lot of gay-family related posts. This appeals to me.
Those are my current suggestions. I’ll add more as I find them!

The First Three Months

23 May

positivepreg

We are overjoyed. After close to a year of trying I am finally, finally, finally pregnant. I started losing hope that this would ever happen but alas it did. We’re so incredibly happy and so are our families.

As soon as we could we started tracking my cycle. We’re so lucky that the first cycle after my miscarriage resulted in a pregnancy. At this point I am 18 weeks pregnant! Our little one is due October 25, 2013. I have my fingers crossed for a Halloween baby! At least the theme for many birthdays is already set in stone, I just hope our kid likes to dress up!
About two weeks after our big fat positive pregnancy test, the morning sickness kicked in. This was pretty intense, especially since I rarely feel ill. It all began with the dishes, dirty ones to be precise. The smell! Ugh, I just could not handle the smell of different foods together in the sink! Then began the food aversions.Literally everything besides the blandest things were repulsive to me. Pickles? YUCK. Cheap Chinese food (my favorite)? UGH. Coffee? No way. Onions? GAG!  Basically right up until the second week of my third month I lived on fruit, pb&j, toast, cereal, and vegan ice cream.
posfruit
I also experienced crazy fatigue those first 3 months. I napped all the time which was weird for me because I hate napping. I also felt dizzy a lot, especially while doing dishes. This was like ear-ringing, get to the couch NOW kind of dizzy. The weirdest symptom of all which still hasn’t gone away is SNEEZING!!!! It sucks. I sneeze like I have the worst allergies man has ever known. I have never had allergies and I’m praying to our sweet mother earth that this is a preggo thing!!!
By the second week of my third month I started to feel more pregnant and less sick. I still can’t smell onions without retching but I can happily eat pickles on my vegan burgers.
As for whether I will stay vegan or not, I will be staying vegan. Duh. Luckily nobody has asked me this but it seems most others get asked this a lot. Of course being vegan and a lesbian means I’ll probably have to eventually field questions or assumptions about a “father”. Thankfully we’re in liberal territory up here and thus far random people we’ve told about my being pregnant have not uttered a thing about the donor.
Well that’s all for now!

Goodbye 2012

31 Dec

This year has been something, for sure. I’m so grateful that all of our energy moved us from Georgia up to Massachusetts. Moving to MA had been something we were striving for since the beginning of our relationship. The change has been significant, not only physically but emotionally also. The weather, foliage (or as my wife likes to say: foilage, lol ;)), the BEACHES, seeing wildlife on a daily basis, the absence of constant strip malls, the magical beauty of this state can’t be overstated. Our emotional health has had major ups and incredible downs this year. We were absolutely elated when JJ got her transfer. The move to Massachusetts was insane though. We sold most of our possessions and drove 3 days through tornado’s, hail storms, and hillbillies to get to Rhode Island. We moved 2 times while in Rhode Island for under 2 full months but we had fun doing it. RI was amazing and Providence is the best little city I have ever lived in… It’s like Brooklyn without all the hipsters! After our brief stint in RI we moved into the fully accepting and marriage recognizing state of Massachusetts. The experience of being surrounded by mostly democrats and liberal ones at that has been refreshing and uplifting! Moving from NYC to Georgia was shocking, politically. Moving from Georgia to Massachusetts has been eye opening! It is great to live in a state that respects women, values education, and where republicans have act as left-wing as possible in order to have a chance at winning an election.  We do love Massachusetts.
Well…. As soon as we were settled into our new home we started trying to have a baby AGAIN! Trying to have a child is stressful and when it doesn’t work 1, 2, 3 times it puts a serious strain on your relationship. I have no idea why but it is just pure stress. We tried sporadically from June-October. In mid November we found out I was pregnant, finally!!! We were overjoyed to say the least and kind of in shock that it was finally happening…  When we got to the 2 month mark we shared the news with our close friends and family and then…. I miscarried. Literally 5 days after telling everybody I was pregnant. This just sucked. So many crazy thoughts go through your head.. My major thought was “why the hell am I miscarrying, why not Duchess Kate?!?!?!?”. The only good thing that came out of this sad little event was our relationship. This miscarriage brought us closer together and made us really appreciate each other so much. My wife handled all the phone calls, all the questions and she was so strong through the whole thing. I was so grateful to have such a loving and supportive wife to take care of me while I was basically a vegetable for a week. It is kind of crazy but during this time we managed to laugh our asses off in between crying like babies…. It was a very sad but also a very loving time for us and I’m grateful for that part of the experience. After about two weeks of feeling very bad for ourselves we’re almost back to normal. We’re going to try try and try again with my little uterus that could! I think the only thought that has managed to keep me sane through all of this is that I have always wanted to adopt, even more than to physically have children.  If I don’t get pregnant then I know I will still have children.. I’ll just have to wait a lot longer for them. If I do get pregnant I’ll be elated, grateful, and excited for the experience! Regardless I know that in time we’ll have our forever home and we will fill it with children, animals, and love.